Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Timing and a Prayer Request

Many are the plans in a man's heart,
but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.
Proverbs 19:21

To man belong the plans of the heart,
but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue...

In his heart a man plans his course,
but the Lord determines his steps.
Proverbs 16:1,9

I'm reminded often in my life of the importance of timing. When things happen can be more important in the outcome of events than the event itself. Timing determines how the event affects one's life. A positive event that occurs at the wrong time may cost time or money and perhaps even hope if we allow it.

Because of my human nature, I sometimes often lament not only the happenings in my life but the time of my life when they occur. I am guilty of falling prey to self-pity more than I care to admit. I long to be better at accepting things as they come to me instead of wasting time wishing they had happened differently.

I've had such an occurrence in the past few days and I have had to adapt to something positive that came at the wrong time for me to get the maximum value from it. I struggled with the timing and why it came too late for me to able to get the full measure of satisfaction from if it had only happened just a few months earlier. I had to remind myself that if I didn't stop looking at this event in that negative way, that not only had I lost out on what could have been but that I would be costing myself the satisfaction of what is really happening in my life as it is occurring. I can't change the how or when of what happened but I can adjust my attitude.

How sad it is that so often the events in the lives of others bring about my change of heart. When I looked at my disappointment in relationship to life and death events in the lives of others, I was once again brought up short. My cousin's wife was recently diagnosed with an aggressive, malignant brain tumor. They have sought opinions from the best of the best and come away with the same diagnosis. She has a few short weeks of quality time left with her family and less than a year to live. The options that are available to them are not many nor are they encouraging. Treatment might extend her time but could possibly affect her ability to enjoy whatever positive or quality time she has available to her.

As for me, I am returning, at least temporarily, to the workforce as a contractor. I am thankful for the opportunity and today, I am truly grateful that the offer came through even though not at the best time for me to make the most of it financially. God does not give me control over the when or the why but I was given the choice of how I handle what is in front of me, no matter how big or small. Mine is a small thing, especially when compared to life and death matters.

Please join me in prayer for my cousin and his wife and their family as they face the horrendous decision before them.

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Monday, May 11, 2009

The Second Forty

Today, my second born, my daughter Dee, turns forty. She doesn't look it. She's beautiful and smart. She's talented and manages to accomplish much through what often seems like chaos to me. She's a loving mother who does her level best to make sure her girls have all the opportunities that other children have and that they get to experience the things they want to try in life.

Forty years ago today was a Sunday, in fact it was Mother's Day 1969. It snowed a bit that year on that day in east central Indiana... slushy wet flakes that didn't stick, couldn't stick to ground already warmed by spring sunshine. Dee's entrance into our world was marked with hesitation, as if she were unsure if she was ready to join us on the outside. We made three trips to the hospital before we stuck around and finally greeted our baby girl.

She's determined, sometimes stubborn and often makes things harder on herself than they have to be but then, she comes by that honestly. Most of the time, it is because she is trying to do more than is humanly possible. Most of the time, it is because she sets goals and has aspirations far beyond what the rest of the world tries to accomplish. Most of the time it is because she is trying to be everything to everybody else. The amazing part to me, is how often she is able to do exactly what she sets out to do.

I recently read an excerpt from Maya Angelou's Letter To My Daughter (dedicated to the daughter she never had) that touched me.
I am convinced that most people do not grow up. We find parking spaces and honor our credit cards. We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are still innocent and shy as magnolias.

We may act sophisticated and worldly but I believe we feel safest when we go inside ourselves and find home, a place where we belong and maybe the only place we really do.
If this is so, I hope that the home that was built for you is a safe place to come to and that when you go inside yourself to find that home that you know you were loved and cared for and prayed for and wished for. I have no doubt that you are building that haven for your own three girls to go to when their adult days may overwhelm them and they simply want to go home.

I've searched my hard drive in vain to find pictures that I might want to use with this post. I never found the particular one I was looking for or that I haven't already used on previous posts. I know the girls are taking you to Macaroni Grill tonight for dinner so I am hoping that a good picture will come from that event and that one of them will forward it to me to tack onto this post later today. Until then, here's one that I like that.

All that remains to say is that I love you Dee.

Happy Birthday!

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Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day 2009

This graphic is not made from the best picture of mom, but one I like as she was reading to me from the paper when I took this photo. It reminds me of the times when I was young that mom would read to me from the same books, over and over.

Between her and my great-aunt Zonie, I learned to read well before I started school.

I love you mom!

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