The Second Forty

Today, my second born, my daughter Dee, turns forty. She doesn't look it. She's beautiful and smart. She's talented and manages to accomplish much through what often seems like chaos to me. She's a loving mother who does her level best to make sure her girls have all the opportunities that other children have and that they get to experience the things they want to try in life.

Forty years ago today was a Sunday, in fact it was Mother's Day 1969. It snowed a bit that year on that day in east central Indiana... slushy wet flakes that didn't stick, couldn't stick to ground already warmed by spring sunshine. Dee's entrance into our world was marked with hesitation, as if she were unsure if she was ready to join us on the outside. We made three trips to the hospital before we stuck around and finally greeted our baby girl.

She's determined, sometimes stubborn and often makes things harder on herself than they have to be but then, she comes by that honestly. Most of the time, it is because she is trying to do more than is humanly possible. Most of the time, it is because she sets goals and has aspirations far beyond what the rest of the world tries to accomplish. Most of the time it is because she is trying to be everything to everybody else. The amazing part to me, is how often she is able to do exactly what she sets out to do.

I recently read an excerpt from Maya Angelou's Letter To My Daughter (dedicated to the daughter she never had) that touched me.

I am convinced that most people do not grow up. We find parking spaces and honor our credit cards. We marry and dare to have children and call that growing up. I think what we do is mostly grow old. We carry accumulation of years in our bodies and on our faces, but generally our real selves, the children inside, are still innocent and shy as magnolias.

We may act sophisticated and worldly but I believe we feel safest when we go inside ourselves and find home, a place where we belong and maybe the only place we really do.

If this is so, I hope that the home that was built for you is a safe place to come to and that when you go inside yourself to find that home that you know you were loved and cared for and prayed for and wished for. I have no doubt that you are building that haven for your own three girls to go to when their adult days may overwhelm them and they simply want to go home.

I've searched my hard drive in vain to find pictures that I might want to use with this post. I never found the particular one I was looking for or that I haven't already used on previous posts. I know the girls are taking you to Macaroni Grill tonight for dinner so I am hoping that a good picture will come from that event and that one of them will forward it to me to tack onto this post later today. Until then, here's one that I like that.



All that remains to say is that I love you Dee.

Happy Birthday!

Guess Who I Found?

I am at my daughter's home and found an old friend here this morning. I am sure he has been here all along but I just realized this morning who it was in the background when I'm here that seems so familiar. It turns out to be someone who used to live at my house but went missing shortly after all of my children moved out and I became an empty-nester. My former tenant is alive and well, living at my daughter Dee's home in Bossier City and still goes by the moniker Nobody.

Yes, indeed, Nobody is alive and well and is found every time Dee wants to know who left the milk out... or who forgot to empty the dishwasher... or who left the cabinet doors open... or who left the mess on the bathroom counter... or any one of a myriad of questions involving responsibility for one task or another. One, or two or all three girls are quick to let her know that it wasn't them so apparently my old buddy Nobody was responsible for it, right?

You know what? That little sucker hasn't changed a bit!

Blog This - and where is my cell phone?

Talk about a family of blondes!

I sat down to my computer a while ago to catch up, since it had only been an hour or so since I had last looked at Facebook, email, my own blog and the other blogs I frequently check, and I was darn near withdrawal. I use Firefox and along with it several little add-on programs or plug-ins that are available with my favorite browser. One plug-in that I use is the Foxforecast add-on that allows me to keep a continual check on the weather. A really nice feature of this plug-in is that I can set up profiles for various locations that I have an interest in... translate to read places where various members of my family live. With a click or two of my wireless mouse, I can get a quick view of the current weather, as well as a simple forecast for the rest of the current day and into the next. I like it! I don't just like it, I love it!

So while I was checking out Facebook, I noticed one of my local friends, right here in good old Funroe, Louisiana where I'm at, had written a status update about being cold. So I immediately checked my handy dandy Foxforecast line at the bottom of my screen and it read 15° and I am like holy moley, when did that happen. I didn't even know the temps were supposed to fall today, especially that low. The high for the next day was only forecast to be in the low 30s. No wonder poor my friend was cold... bless her heart! For my yankee fans, that's a southern phrase meaning she's my friend and I care about her or it could mean that she may not really be a friend but I'm gonna bless her heart anyway... that's what southerners do... they bless your heart and I've learned that it is a good thing to bless people's hearts! Anyway... let's move on.

I'm thinking about leaving a comment to my friend who's freezing to death, and no wonder because we are not prepared for those kinds of temperatures here in the deep south, when the phone rings. It's my daughter Dee, who lives in Bossier City on the other side of the state. I'm about to ask her if she's freezing to death over there because they actually had a little snow on that side of the state a couple of days ago so I figured it must be even colder where she's at than where I am. Then it hit me... like a ton of bricks... like ice falling from the eaves of buildings... my profile is not set on Monroe.

This is a view of how it looks when set on my local profile -- click to enlarge
Sure enough, I clicked the button and realized that I was seeing weather for my hometown, Muncie, Indiana, where my mother and one of my brothers still live. In a moment of sillyness, I was dumb enough to tell my daughter what I had done... immediately she insulted me by laughing out loud, reminding me how old I am and that amid the graying strands, there is still a lot of blonde there! Hmmmph! She even went so far as to tell me to blog it! Brat!

After an ensuing loving conversation round of name-calling, she told me that she and Sarah had reached their destination and she would talk to me later. I could still hear the sneering condescension in her voice and a final chuckle at my expense when she told me to wait a minute as she ticked off each item she wanted to take in with her... keys, purse, wait, wait... where's my cell phone! (duh, in your hand?)

So who's the old blonde now sweetie?

REVENGE IS SO SWEET!

consider it blogged baby... consider it blogged!

My Ugly Mug

Flash back to Mother's Day 1979. Earlier that year, my husband and I had separated and I found out the day before Mother's Day, that he had not taken them anywhere to get me a card or gift. The girls asked if I would take them shopping so they could buy me a present. I loaded them up, along with their brother and headed into town. John and I wandered around while they were looking, waiting for them to make a loving and thoughtful decision about what to purchase with their limited funds.

When they came out of the last store with package in hand, they were giggly and seemed pleased with themselves. I was touched by their thoughtfulness and knew, that no matter how small their gift might be, that it was symbolic of their love for me. I just knew... I just needed to believe... that while my marriage was falling apart, my relationship with my children would always sustain me and lift me up, even as my self-confidence waned. I couldn't wait to open my present that year!

This is what they gave me on Mother's Day!




The truth is, I was so surprised by this gift that I'm sure I didn't react as well as a mother should when her children give her a present that is, let's say less than desirable. I was overly sensitive at that point in my life and suppose I was afraid that my children thought of me as an Aggie joke! How silly my reaction seems to me today.

This mug has been a source of jokes in our family for the past thirty years and when I told the girls I was going to submit it for a contest, they couldn't believe that I still had it. In all honesty, this mug has kept me humble over the years and I wouldn't part with it for anything.

I talked to each of my girls today and asked them what they were thinking back then. I loved their comments.

Jamie:

"I was just a kid and I thought it was funny."
"Besides that, it was cheap."
"It was Dee's idea!"
"I always wondered why the clerk kept asking if that was what we really wanted to give you."

Dee:

"Mom, I was only nine or ten."
"I was a follower back then, it was Jamie's idea."
"I didn't even know what an Aggie was."
"We really tried mom, honest!"

While I was talking to Jamie, she had to do something and gave the phone to Kayla, my youngest granddaughter who had just turned seven a few weeks before. I asked her what she thought about her mommy and aunt Dee buying me a really silly present when they were little girls and what she thought I should do to them for being so silly. She didn't hesitate. She simply told me that I should say thank you because her mommy told her to always say thank you when people give her gifts, even if the gift isn't exactly what she wanted. See what I mean about this mug. Even when viewed through the eyes of a seven year old, I am humbled by it and reminded that I am a very fortunate woman.



So thank you girls, thank you for the mug and for years of love and caring and joy. I'm only sorry that it took thirty years to find a purpose for it. Please know that I love my ugly Aggie Mug. Someday, I hope to find two more just like it!

John, just be glad you were only four or I might be looking for three of them!

********************** PLEASE GO VOTE **********************
Go to 2nd Cup Of Coffee and follow Linda's instructions on how to vote! Please, vote for me, as it will go a long way toward improving my scarred relationship with my children and how people of the world view Aggies in general. Perhaps I could get a new mug with the Starbucks gift certificate that the winner will receive... I mean really, have you ever tried drinking from an Aggie mug?

Mother's Day 1969 - Where Were You?

On Mother's Day, May 11, 1969, I know exactly where I was... and for good reason. I gave birth to my second child on that day. My little Dee Dee Doll, came into being shortly after two o'clock that Sunday morning 39 years ago today. Like almost everything in Dee's life, it happened on her terms. I was not due for another week, but on the Friday afternoon before Mother's Day, my water broke. Later that day, I started having very light contractions and my doctor wanted me to come to the hospital, even though I didn't think I was ready. By mid-morning Saturday, I was sent home as labor was not progressing. As soon as I got home, the labor escalated again but I stayed put until I knew it was time. At around seven that evening, my doctor decided to meet me at the emergency room, where he made the command decision to send me home again, even though I knew I was well into labor (and no, he did not deliver my third child). Shortly after ten, we were back on our way to the hospital again and this time I stuck around and Dee Ann finally made her appearance at 2:11 am on Sunday morning. Immediately after, my blood pressure dropped and I was near shock but I survived Dee's entrance into the world and I'm still shocked to be the mother of this magnificent girl.

Here is a glimpse of my very independent, amazingly beautiful, extraordinarily talented and quite intelligent daughter, Dee.

At one week with her cousin Missi who was born 6 weeks before Dee.

Eating her first birthday cake!

One of my favorite school pictures of Dee

Taken for her graduation from East Tennessee State University School of Nursing. Dee graduated Summa Cum Laude. And yes, it is okay to brag on your daughter when she is as smart and beautiful as Dee! (My mother loves this picture of Dee. To her all nurses should still wear hats! They should also know how to make beds with hospital corners!)

One of the first pictures of Dee as a new mother with my first granddaughter, Erin.

This is a fun picture of Dee and all three of her girls ready to cruise! Erin is in the front with Dee, Emily is sitting behind her mom and Sarah Grace completes the picture!

Happy 39th Dee Dee Doll!
I love you!

Oh, and for extra good measure, here are a couple of pictures of my wonderful mother, who I will be heading up to Indiana to see in less than two weeks!

This is a picture of mom and her younger sister, my aunt Leah.
Mom's on the left with her eyes closed!
WOW Mom! You were a hottie...

and still are!

Happy Mother's Day Mom!

A Busy Week

The past week was busy for me. Just catching up after being gone for three weeks was hectic enough. Laundry, cleaning, clearing away the mail that accumulated.

I also missed my son's 33rd birthday while I was gone. I finally got around to making a birthday dinner for him and his favorite yellow cake with chocolate icing on Wednesday night. We had half of it after dinner and I sent the rest of that home with him so I wouldn't be tempted to eat it myself. I took the other half of the cake with me to Dee's on Thursday night and it was pretty much devoured that evening.

Here's a few photos from my time with my kids last week.

John blowing out the candles on his cake... not very fancy, but it was good!

Dee on the phone, talking to her sister Jamie, my other daughter in Florida.

This is Emily, 13, (a good photo of her other than the finger, which would not clone out easily. I could have cropped it out but would lose part of her chin... oh well.)

This is Erin, 14, taken on the front porch swing. She was sitting with her friend Amy, who I cropped out of the photo. It was a nice shot of them both and I will send the original photo to be shared. They will start high school this year... sigh.

and of course, Sarah Grace, almost 11.
I can't believe she is moving to middle school this year... another sigh!