Time Marches On

This has been a difficult week for me. It started with my coming down with either a cold or possibly the flu. I had the typical head congestion, scratchy sore throat, ears itching, hacking cough, lots of yucky drainage, headache, achy body and slight fever off and on. It goes without saying that this is the worse possible time to get sick as you can imagine.

One thing that I did get to do was to spend time to really look over and read the Christmas cards I had received and continue to bring in daily. Some contained pictures, some had notes and all contained warm wishes for the Christmas season and for the coming year. Three of them were particularly touching in some way.

One of those three was from my oldest daughter, who recently remarried. The card was made from a photograph taken by a friend right after the ceremony. The picture is not all that great but greatly appreciated since I was not there for the wedding. After I scanned the photo portion of the card, I did my best to enhance it as much as possible.

Shawn and Jamie with Anna and Kayla

click to enlarge
I have met Shawn and will see him, Jamie and the girls in a few days. I'm headed down after Christmas for a couple of weeks. Shawn will get his fill of his new mother-in-law. Kayla, I get to celebrate your birthday with you again!

The other two cards that affected me came from family members of my friend Margaret, who passed away in June 2007. Margaret's husband remarried several months ago to a woman from the Philippines. He is currently there with her but they plan to come back to the states in a few months. According to the letter he enclosed with the card, their plan is to return here, sell the house he and Margaret lived in and move to the Dallas area where both of his children are currently living. He and his new wife Eloisa will also return to the Philippines from time to time where her family remains. She appears to be a lovely lady and I will most likely meet her in April next year when they get back.

I also got a card from Margaret's daughter Tracy that included a picture of her three year old son. Gage was Margaret's pride and joy. She had about a year with him before her health began to fail and the results of cancer, if not cancer itself, ravaged her body for months before giving out completely. It meant a lot to me to receive that picture along with the card.

I still miss Margaret tremendously. You don't lose your best friend, your touchstone and not feel it on some level the rest of your life. It is also good to be reminded that life goes on and that is the way it is supposed to be.

I am happy for my daughter and her new husband. I am also happy for Glynn and Eloisa. I wish both couples all the happiness in the world. As for Gage, I hope to get pictures of him for many years to come. It does me good to see that crooked little smile. I know exactly where it came from.

Count That Day Lost

Count That Day Lost
by George Elliot, (Mary Ann Evans)

If you sit down at set of sun
And count the acts that you have done, and counting, find
One self-denying deed, one word
That eased the heart of him who heard,
One glance most kind
That fell like sunshine where it went - -
Then you may count that day well spent.
But if, through all the livelong day,
You’ve cheered no heart, by yea or nay - -
If through it all
You’ve nothing done that you can trace
That brought the sunshine to one face - -
No act most small
That helped some soul and nothing cost - -
Then count that day as worse than lost.

A short note in email cheered me the other day. It was from someone that I am not particularly close to but correspond with through email on a regular basis. Mostly, I send email that might be considered encouraging or inspirational to a group of people that she is part of and apparently the things that I sent helped her through a difficult time.

She indicated to me that she felt that someone cared, that someone was thinking of her, was perhaps praying for her and walking with her, gently pulling her back to the path she needed to be on. She had drifted away and my emails were a reminder of a shared experience several years ago where we both, along with many others, experienced the incomparable, unmerited, unconditional love of Christ in our lives. Unknown to her, I too have found myself drifting and feeling apart. Her brief note lifted me on that day and made me feel that I need not count that day as lost... that perhaps no day is truly lost unless we give up on it.

Thank you Mary C.

Thankful!

Since today is a day of thanksgiving, I would like to start by saying I'm most thankful that my family and friends are all safe and healthy today.

My oldest daughter is in Florida, preparing a thanksgiving meal for her family and her new in-laws and some friends. My middle child is making dinner for her girls and their father before she has to go to work later today (bad part about being an RN in a hospital) on the other side of state from where I live. My son drove all night, after getting off work at after midnight last night and made it home safely around ten this morning. I made dinner for the two of us here. If any of you know where Cox's Army is, please send them here because I'm pretty sure I have enough leftover to feed them all.

Poor John was not just tired when he got here, he is also quite sick. He stayed awake long enough to eat a meal he could barely taste and then went to bed after canceling plans to meet friends later today to ride four wheelers. I am thankful that although he is not feeling well, that he has a safe place to lay his head and that he is smart enough to know he needs to sleep and rest if he wants to get over this flu or cold or whatever he has. I am hopeful that I will not be on the receiving end of whatever he brought home with him. I am happy that he thanked me for what he was sure was probably a very good meal before he went to bed. I am thankful that he learned to express appreciation somewhere, anywhere, whether from me or someone else along the way.

As for me, I am tired. My back hurts, my feet hurt and I am exhausted. I am thankful for the opportunity to get this tired and achy. I am thankful that our dinner is over and cleanup is mostly done. I am thankful that I can finally lay down, on the couch in front of the tv with my laptop... not to mention how grateful I am for the Alleve and the heating pad.

I am very thankful that my mother is having dinner in her own home with my two brothers and part of their families. She is 85 years old and still in the middle of all of the preparation, even if she is huffing and puffing a bit as she works. She likes being needed and loves taking care of those she cares about... it is good for her (within reason)!

I am thankful that my sister is safe and well in her home in North Carolina, with her husband and youngest daughter. I'm thankful that her oldest daughter is celebrating with her husbands family as the two of them prepare to welcome their first child next year. We are all waiting on baby boy Miller to make his way into the world and to settle in our hearts once we finally get a name. I love that Melanie and I have the same last name... just thought I would throw that in there. I also love her husband Michael. I think they will be terrific parents.

My prayers go out to those who may be hurting and suffering in some way today, whether it is health issues, financial woes or other concerns or losses, such as my friend Gill whose mother passed away this week. In the midst of our thanksgiving, life (and death) marches on.

God help us to put one foot in front of the other and face what comes our way on this Thanksgiving Day and every day. Help us to be a thankful people.

For Gill

Please add my blogging friend Gill and her family to your prayers. Her mother passed away last night. If you get a chance, please go by and let her know that you are thinking of her.

Gills's Jottings

Playing Bridge - On A Houseboat

I spent a good part of the day Monday, playing bridge with some friends. It's been a long time, over 5 years at least, since I last enjoyed that activity. I was surprised at how readily the bidding and play came back to me. It helped that the cards were kind and that I was with old friends who are no more serious about bridge than I am. The four of us, along with several others, learned to play bridge many, many years ago when we were all young corporate wives to husbands who transferred here with GM.

Many changes have taken place in our lives over the past thirty-some years; our children are all grown, we have grandchildren, some marriages didn't survive, some people transferred, some died. Over the years we've been homemakers and later we had careers, some moved away and then came back and now we are all retired... and playing bridge again!

It was fun to get back together especially on the houseboat, which belongs to my friend Diane's son, Danny and his wife Pat. Not only are they generous enough to allow us to use the boat, Pat, who was working from home that day, kept us in coffee. And that was much appreciated on a chilly fall day.

Here's a few pictures from our day.


A picture looking out over the front of the houseboat... the colors were gorgeous along the river.


This is Vickie.


This is Diane.



This is Janan, who was smart enough to bring ear muffs!


Vickie is mulling over her next play.


Diane is thinking about her next bid.


Janan is eating, which may be our ulterior motive for playing bridge... we munched all day.


This is Danny and Pat's Irish Setter, Abby. She's a beautiful dog who spent the day tripping the latch on the gate to break out and chase a cat that was teasing her from the nearby grounds.


She totally wore herself out chasing that cat! We bridge players weren't the only ones who had fun on Monday!

Lunch With Friends

Kayla's Kitchen used to be the Southern Ladies Tea Room. The menu was unique and the fare was excellent for the most part with a mix of sophisticated dishes and good 'ol southern cooking. I knew it had been sold at one point to either friends or family members of the original owner but apparently it has sold again, hence the name change... and the change in food.

The menu is now a more common fare, not bad but closer to a hot lunch plate than what the tea room offered. Eating with good friends David and Diane, made it more enjoyable today than it might have been had they not been there. I used to work with Dave who was also a traveling buddy of mine and Margaret's. Dave and I have a common friend in Diane, who also happens to be a neighbor. Diane is recently widowed. Her late husband and my ex-husband both transferred here with GM back in the 70's so I've known her as long as I have lived here. Almost 34 years now. That's hard to believe.

The restaurant is located in the old part of downtown West Monroe, near the river, just a block removed from Antique Alley. It's high dollar real estate down there for buildings in many cases that are falling apart but the atmosphere is neat. Sort of.

This is a picture of what used to be one of our favorite places to eat when our engineering group worked in this area before the corporate headquarters building was completed. I wonder if anyone will ever try to revive this location again. It looked this bad or worse before that restaurant was put in. My poor old brain has not been able to come up with the name of the restaurant and it is driving me nuts. There are just some things about getting older that I hate and the memory thing is one of them. I'll probably remember when I wake up in the middle of the night to go pee. That's one of the other things I hate about aging!

It's worth noting that I actually managed to get out of the house in time to get my car inspected and have the oil changed before meeting my friends for lunch. I also made a Wally World run after I stuck around the old downtown area to take a few photographs. I was tired and drenched in sweat after I got home from getting in and out of the vehicle. It was one of those days where you just pray not to get stuck at a traffic light because the temperature inside the vehicles rises considerably as you sit and wait. We are nearing the dog days of summer down here and it ain't gonna get no better!

Fiddle de dee!!! Scarlett will think about that tomorrow!

I Hate Cancer

I've hit that point in life where I am hearing some sort of bad news about friends on a fairly regular basis, particularly relating to their health. It seems almost daily that someone I know is having hip surgery or a knee replacement, some type of scan or scope for this or that or they've just been diagnosed with diabetes or they've been told they have blocked arteries and need stents... it's always something and sometimes the news is difficult to bear. Earlier today, as I was preparing to shut down my computer and get ready to leave for an appointment, I noticed that our weekly Intercessory Prayer list had just arrived in my inbox. Normally I receive the list on Wednesday, but assumed that our Associate Pastor must have had something going on yesterday that made her late in getting out the list. I was right. She did does have something going on.

I opened the list, wanting to quickly read through it to make sure there were no new concerns that I was unaware of when I noticed that my friend was on the list along with her family and a note indicating she had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. I shut down the computer, picked up the phone and decided I would cancel the appointment if needed (it wasn't) and stayed on the phone to talk to this wonderful woman who has already faced many concerns in her life. I found her calm, realistic and prepared to face what she will have to go through to fight the monster. She knows she is facing surgery, and will most likely have a 'simple' mastectomy (as if any mastectomy is simple). She won't know for certain until she sees a surgeon and will probably still not know for sure what the full extent of the surgery will be until they actually get in and are able to assess the extent of the disease. Further treatment will be determined based on what they find during the surgery. Chemotherapy and/or radiation will likely be a part of her life in the near future.

This woman and I became a good friends, growing closer as we supported each other in past months while our mutual friend Margaret was fighting her final battle. She was a wonderful counsel and a source of comfort for me during that time and I pray that I will be able to serve her as well as she served me now that the need is so large in her life. I pray that I have the right words when necessary and that I will know when words are unnecessary. I pray for insight and wisdom and strength but mostly I am once again praying for a friend... I hate cancer!

The Only Constant In Life Is Change

Life changed while I was away. It always does.

I knew coming home would be difficult. I haven't returned home in the last 26 years without eventually talking to Margaret about whatever happened on my trip or listened as she would tell me what happened here while I was gone. When we were still working, we would generally talk at the office, unless one of us experienced something so earth shattering that it wouldn't keep and one of us would pick up the phone to call the other. She and I were not really phone friends, although when we did call one another, the call would generally last a while.

Several times during the long thirteen hour journey from Muncie, Indiana to Monroe, Louisiana, it occurred to me that Margaret would not be there to discuss my trip with me. Indeed, the past few months, while she was so ill, we had talked very little as she was so weak and was unable to sustain a conversation of any duration. At least there had been some measure of hope that we would talk again someday. Now I must talk to her and listen for her response in a different way.

There were two packages waiting for me when I got home from Margaret's family. One contained a DVD of the slide show that played during the visitation and service and a tape of the actual service itself. Another contained a laminated copy of her obituary. I watched, listened and read without tears. Those were shed quietly while Betty prayed with me at the alter on Sunday morning and in the pew sitting next to Margaret's mother during our contemporary service.

I felt off kilter at church and in my Sunday School class on Sunday morning... that little out of place feeling that comes sometimes when you've missed several weeks in a row and you're out of synch with what's going on. I know she was feeling a deep sense of loss and out of place as she usually attends the earlier traditional service and up until Margaret's illness prevented it, she sat with her daughter during Sunday morning services. No doubt, Providence placed us together. Our shared presence in that pew seemed to provide us both with a sense of peace and belonging.

While driving home from church, I realized that I had sensed a piece of my touchstone through sitting with her mother. It was familiar, but different... a new and different way of communicating with my friend.

Life changed while I was away. It always does.

Margaret Ann Francis
June 9, 1948 ~ June 14, 2007

(5:00 pm -- I've just added the song This Train Is Bound For Glory as it was one of Margaret's favorite songs. I'm certain she reached her destination.)

I Don't Have a Clever Title For This Entry

I have another strange week under my belt. This one was filled with more family and friend concerns and finally completely dropping the plans to go to Tennessee with mom, at least for now.

I was still dealing with Margaret's death and missing her funeral when I found out about the imminent death of another long time friend and neighbor (which hasn't happened yet, despite doctors having the family call everyone in almost a week ago) and having mom take three falls in three days - the last one serious enough to go to the emergency room, getting CT scans and MRIs, and now waiting over this weekend to get the MRI results and it all just starts to take a toll on you.

I just can't seem to find the time or the will to come up with a creative blog entry. Heck, who am I kidding, I couldn't even title this entry!

ps... have I whined mentioned lately how awful dial-up is?

That's Enough Of That

Yesterday was a strange day for me. It was our first father's day without Dad and the day of Margaret's funeral. Mom and I discussed a few sweet memories of Dad and I came to terms with being about 750 miles from my friend and the service that would lay her body to it's final resting place on this earth. After agonizing over whether to cut short my trip home to Indiana, which had already been delayed due to Margaret's condition, I decided to remain here with mom. I had much encouragement to do so from people I love and respect, including family, friends and my pastor and assistant pastor, both of whom I count as friends as well as spiritual mentors. I know that Margaret herself would have told me to stay here with mom. Her family had encouraged me to continue my plans before I left. I knew the risk when I left and thought I was prepared to deal with it if it happened but it was much harder than I thought. But that's enough of that.

Mom and I still plan to go to Tennessee as we would normally have done over Memorial Day weekend, but even that may be out of the picture now as well. Mom is struggling a bit with her health too. She is not at immediate risk, but has heart trouble and is becoming more unsteady on her feet. We're thinking she may have had a mini stroke at some point although nothing has been done to confirm that. She's as vital and active as she can be under those conditions but she is much weaker than the woman I've known my whole life. It's difficult to become the care giver to someone who took care of your every need for years and was your rock throughout your whole life yet at the same time it is a privilege to do so for someone you love so much. But that's enough of that.

It is peaceful here with mom, even though the garden and flower beds have been pared down to just a few easily maintained plants and some potted plants on the front porch. She still has the bird feeders and enjoys them and the squirrels that frolic in her yard. There are a few rabbits from time to time as well. The squirrels and rabbits are fat, obviously well fed from the feed put out for them and from the neighborhood gardens they raid on those occasions when nobody is there to run them off. Butterflies flitter by often and the hum of bees can be heard as they pull the nectar from those few remaining plants. Her neighbors love her and look out for her and it is comforting to know that she lives somewhere that people still notice each other and would know if something was wrong. One of my brothers lives about 15 minutes away and he keeps a regular check on her as well. I hope and pray that she can stay here until the end of her life but even with caring neighbors and a loving son close by that may not be possible. But that's enough of that.

This strange mood leads me to thinking, to pondering life and it's meaning and I always find that understanding this life is impossible and beyond me. The circle of life will complete itself with or without my ability to grasp it's purpose. The world goes on in spite of everything that I question or feel uncertain about and that always leads me back to feeling that it isn't me, or us, that is in control. My belief and my trust in God is always reinforced as much by what I don't understand as what I have been taught about God. Somehow, I think if He were to call out to me in a booming voice, he would say... 'that's enough of that...'

I think I'll go out and enjoy this day!

The Struggle Is Over

Earlier this evening, my friend and touchstone, Margaret, passed away. I am thankful that her earthly struggles are over and that she is at peace. I pray mightily for her family, that they may have peace and comfort over these next difficult days and strength to endure the rest of their lives without her presence.

I ask God for peace and strength for me as the pain of losing my friend is just finding a starting place.

I am heartbroken.

You will find all of my posts about Margaret here: Margaret

An Update and Plans for Blog Posts

I thought I would give a brief update on Margaret's condition, which has improved since last Saturday's very difficult post. She is a long way from being out of the woods and I would say that her condition remains volatile. Her family is finding hope again and is once more talking cautiously about the possibility of getting her to Baylor. I keep their hopes and mine at the forefront of my prayers as always and ask that you do the same for my friend.

I realized that I have done very little posting of the work I have done in Paint Shop Pro (PSP) and I would like to start a series of posts that feature some of my graphics. It is an outlet for me, another form of expression that unfortunately, I am not always good at following through with. I have been in a bit of a creative slump recently, probably in part due to the emotional upheavals and travel in my life the past year or so but I do have many things I would like to share here.

So I'm off for now to look through my collection to see what I can put out here for viewing.

Later!

Friendship and A Change of Plans

Saturday morning update -- Things have taken a bad turn for the worse with my friend Margaret's condition as she has started bleeding into her lungs. The decision has been made to leave everything in God's hands and to pray for peace and comfort for Margaret. She has fought the most difficult battle with horrendous infection for the past three months trying to get to Baylor Medical Center in Dallas for a second bone marrow transplant. The first transplant was successful, giving her 5 strong years, cancer free before her bone marrow gave out late last fall.

While cancer has not lived in her body for over five years, I will always know that it is the cancer that is responsible for her condition. How I hate that disease.

Please pray for her comfort and for peace for all those who love and care about her.

Thursday afternoon update -- Margaret was weaned off of the ventilator today. As I understand it, they are confident that this relapse was due to changes in medication that affected her heartbeat as well as allowing the infection to re-establish itself. They were able to start her back on the protocol she was on before the relapse and she is responding well at this early stage. As tenacious as this infection seems to be, apparently it is not as strong-willed as Margaret is. They will work to get her out of the CV-ICU and into a regular room before trying to transport her to Baylor by air ambulance, possibly by the middle of next week. Once she is safely at Baylor, I will feel comfortable about proceeding with my own plans. I am very appreciative of the prayers spoken for my friend and grateful to the gracious God that hears us all.

As quickly as the good news came the other day about Margaret, the bad news came just as quickly early yesterday morning that she had relapsed and was back in the CV-ICU of the local hospital where she has been off and on for the past three months. Before they were able to release her Monday for the trip to Baylor Medical in Dallas, her infection returned with a vengeance, attacking her so severely this time that she was placed on a ventilator during the early hours of Tuesday morning. At that time, they were also discussing the possibility of getting her to the Baylor facility by air ambulance but they later decided that was not a viable choice at this time.

When I got the call, I was preparing my list of the things I needed to do before leaving for Indiana and my annual trip with Mom to Tennessee for the Memorial Day weekend. As I got more information about Margaret, it made me re-think my plans.

While I didn't want to miss the trip with mom, as I believe this is likely our last time to make the trek together, neither did I want to leave with things up in the air about Margaret. I considered some alternatives. One being that my sister might want to do this trip with mom, as we had discussed the possibility of her coming to meet us anyway. The other option would be to cancel the plans for the holiday weekend and make the trip later. After discussing the situation with them, we chose the second option, since time was short for my sister to get arrangements made to get up to mom's and then on to Tennessee. I will go up to mom's as soon as I know Margaret is stabilized and we will simply make the trip at a different time. My sister can still come to meet us if she wants to. Sometimes things just work out for the best.

As for Margaret, well today things sound a little better. They're talking about the possibility of weaning her off of the ventilator starting tomorrow. Even after she gets off the ventilator, she will be back where she was at a month ago, so this is a real set back for her. The situation is serious but we have to believe that she can still get to Baylor and have a successful transplant.

Thanks to all who may choose to utter a prayer on Margaret's behalf or have done so from one my previous requests here or here.

(Now playing: I'm A Survivor by Reba McEntire in honor of my friend Margaret who is and will continue to be a survivor.)

WOW - or How To Increase Hits On Your Blog

I logged onto my blog late yesterday afternoon and found that the number of hits had increased significantly beyond what I usually get. As I was considering a new and serious post, the hits kept coming and I'm going WT- (I'm trying hard to give up that using that particular letter/word to express myself... so you fill in the dash... and no, I'm not always successful at avoiding the use of colorful language... okay, so I'm not perfect). Anyhow, it only took a quick trip to my favorite blog to see why.

There on the front of Kristie's blog was my name and a link to my pathetic little blog and a quote of a comment I had left on one of her posts. Ohmigosh... I've been quoted by Kristie. My heart started pounding, my head began to swell and for about half a second, I felt very important!

The truth is, I use this blog as a release for me. If someone reads what I write and enjoys it, I think that is great. If not, well I am seasoned (read old) enough to handle that too. I welcome your comments or simply your presence but I will never consider what I do to be in the same league as my favorite bloggers. You'll find a partial list of my favorites with links on the right side somewhere.

Kristie is my favorite because of her openness and willingness to share who she is and her life experience honestly and with great humor. I've followed her family from the pre-blog days of her caringbridge site for daughter Kendrie. What an amazing story Kristie has to share, not only about Kendrie's cancer, but also that her husband Blaine suffers from cancer as well. Even how she and Blaine became parents to their three children will have you laughing and crying, sometimes at the same time.

So check out her blog and let's just see how fast we can run up the number of hits on her site! uh, the 2 or 3 of you who didn't get here from her site in the first place that is!

(I do have a serious post about a change in my plans and my friend Margaret planned for later... I just haven't been able to find the words just yet but please keep Margaret in your prayers.)

The Face Of Friendship

Late yesterday evening, I got good news about my friend Margaret. Her husband left a message on my answering machine telling me that she would be released this coming Monday morning from the local hospital where she has been almost continuously over the past three months battling a serious lung infection / pneumonia. They will leave that afternoon for Dallas to admit her to the Baylor Medical facility where she will complete her rehabilitation and start the preliminary testing towards the Bone Marrow Transplant she desperately needs. This will be her second BMT.

I won't go into all the details here as I have already posted them in an earlier entry. Read that entry here if you have the chance. I warn you that it is lengthy, but gives much of the background on our friendship and her need for a second miracle in her life.

This picture, which admittedly is not one of our best, shows us at a time when we were both struggling with injury (me) or disease (Margaret). I had been in a serious car wreck with three of my granddaughters and Margaret was still undergoing treatment for cancer that led to her first BMT just a few months after this photo was taken.

Please keep Margaret in your prayers for the continued rehabilitation of her lungs and to regain her strength so that she may have her second transplant and that the transplant will be successful. Please be sure to mention her family and the donor as well. To any or all who have given this precious gift of life to someone in the past or may be on a list to do so in the future, know that you are a miracle, not only to the person you are donating to, but to all who love and care about them.

Margaret, Dave and I are packing our bags and waiting only for you to recover so that we can make that trip to Chicago to see Oprah!

(leaving the song Miss You as I am indeed missing my friend and will until she recovers fully)

Touchstone

touch·stone /ˈtn/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation [tŭch'stōn']

–noun

1. a test or criterion for the qualities of a thing.
2. An excellent quality or example that is used to test the excellence or genuineness of others: "the qualities of courage and vision that are the touchstones of leadership" (Henry A. Kissinger).

[Origin: 1475–85; touch + stone]

—Synonyms 1. standard, measure, model, pattern.

My friend Margaret has been my touchstone for years. I was delighted when I looked up the meaning of touchstone and found that it perfectly describes how I feel about her... she IS my measure for quality... she IS the standard I use for genuineness.

Margaret and I became friends slowly, gradually, over time and in spite of, or perhaps because of, the differences between us. Not only are we different in our physical appearance but in personality and expression as well. It seems what we have in common is our value system. We are both idealists, perfectionists, holding out for something better from life not only for ourselves, but for all those we love and care about. It isn’t money or possessions that either of us desire, but a moral quality of life; a rightness; a desire to be good and to do good.

We came to know each other through work. We both started work at the newly created corporate engineering office at CenturyTel on 7^th Street in Monroe, Louisiana on January 26, 1981. We left the company’s new headquarters together almost 23 years later taking early retirement at the behest of our company. We walked in individually, separately as strangers; we walked out as sisters, if not by blood, then in our hearts.

Margaret saw me through many personal struggles as a single mom, raising 3 children on my own and supported me valiantly over the years. I was there when her son was hurt, suffering an eye injury that was devastating to her at the time and through other struggles in her life. We had what we affectionately termed ‘adventures’ together, although I don’t think we quite qualify as Thelma and Louise. Along with our friend David, we went on several weekend trips. We saw Tina Turner twice, the Eagles once and we all went to New York City together in 2002. Just going to lunch could be an adventure for us or a time of peace and solace when we would simply choose to take a sack lunch to our retreat at Black Bayou. As with most friendships, there were times when we would seem to drift apart but we always seemed to find each other when our needs were most urgent. I know today that it was God's hand involved in our lives, directing us, keeping us close.

When we first became friends, I don’t believe Margaret had a religious affiliation. I had turned my life over at the age of 12 in the Methodist church in the small town where I went to school but I was not active in the church on a regular basis and had not been in some time. When Margaret joined the Methodist church after her son’s injury, I was happy for her but still felt no real pull to return; perhaps guilt sometimes for not going and for not getting my children involved, but not enough to spur me back into living a fully committed Christian life. At her urging during one of my struggles, I started attending services at her church and got involved in church activities once again in my life. When the minister we both loved left our small congregation, Margaret eventually moved her membership to a different church and I dropped back out. Once again, although our personal paths seemed to diverge, God continued to keep us available to each other as we were both about to face some of the biggest struggles of our lives.

She was the one I called into my office at work when I got the devastating news about Anna, my granddaughter. She held me, she listened to me; she cried with me; she made arrangements for me to leave the next day to be with my daughter and her family. She offered money; she offered her shoulder; she prayed for me and my family; she gave me her heart.

When Margaret was diagnosed with cancer, it rocked my world. I wanted to do all I could for her. I prayed for her and I requested others to pray. I gave my heart to her and found it easy to take on a role of servant, doing little things at the office to clear away any concerns she might have there and being a link to others who cared about her. It was easy to do, I just followed her lead. I would say this is the point at which I was most impressed with Margaret’s Christian beliefs. I knew she had grown tremendously in her faith but I found a true understanding of how strong it was during this time. I heard her speak of it often over the years but I was watching now as she was living her belief every minute of every day.

It was through observing how she handled the cancer, the treatments, the fears and concerns for her family as well as for herself and seeing her remarkable strength that I recognized how much my friend had grown. By comparison, I realized that my own belief had withered, was producing nothing and that I was in serious need. A serious car wreck, involving myself and three of my precious granddaughters that we all walked away from convinced me of that even further. Again, Margaret had just the thing for me. She got me involved in Disciple classes at Lea Joyner Memorial UMC, took me to Women of Faith conferences and I found my faith rekindled one more time. In the midst of all she was going through, she was ministering to me.

The point came in Margaret’s treatment that a decision had to be made. A bone marrow transplant was needed and it was the only real hope of stopping the cancer from coming back again and again. I watched one more time as she, with grace and dignity, handled this difficult treatment on top of all of her other obligations in life. This time, I knew exactly where her strength was coming from and isn't God good! She came through the transplant and was cancer free!

Later, when our company came to all of the longer term employees and presented us with a difficult early retirement option (much earlier than I had planned), I found myself on my knees, asking what to do. I felt like God was leading me to retire and that I was being given the opportunity to walk out the door with Margaret and so I did. Since then we have experienced many more adventures including a trip to Israel together with other members of OUR church (yes, I moved my membership—finally), we still occasionally do lunch, we attend classes together and sometimes we just talk about our lives. During this time she also became a grandmother, we both deal with the issues of aging parents. She was one of the first people I talked to after my dad passed away last year and our lives continue to wrap around each others today... and today, one of us is in need again.

Late last year, Margaret got the news that although her cancer had not returned, her bone marrow was failing. It is treatable but not curable without another transplant. Even with treatment, she is in a weakened state, receiving transfusions regularly and taking serious medication, some of it still in clinical trial. She is currently recovering from bacterial pneumonia and accumulated fluid in her chest cavity and breathing problems associated with that. And that is where we are today. My friend, my touchstone, my measure of quality in all things good is in need again. And again, my world is rocked. But here I am, on my knees praying for Margaret each and every day.

I bring you the story of my touchstone so that you might pray for her as well. I believe there is power in prayer and that in this instance, more is better. Her husband Glynn, and their children, Chris and Traci and their families, Margaret’s mother and her siblings all need your prayers as well. I pray that they all be given strength and peace and comfort to endure and to trust in God. I pray that the donor be blessed with God’s grace and mercy. Mostly I pray that Margaret's condition will improve soon and that she will be prepared for the life giving transplant waiting for her down the road. She must be healthy to undergo the procedure and recover from it. She has much more to do in this life; she has a husband and children to enjoy; she has a grandson to love and hug and to watch grow; her mother and siblings need her; she has many friends that adore her; and she and I... well we have adventures to plan and experience.

Please, in whatever way you are comfortable, using whatever words you choose, I simply ask that you pray for Margaret today.

I apologize for the length of this entry, but it is hard to sum up 26 years of friendship in a few paragraphs. If you’ve read this far, all I can say is thank you! Thank you for reading to this point, thank you for praying for Margaret and if you have done either of those, thank you for measuring up to my touchstone.